Pendaflex® Launches I.Organize™ Information Management System

Esselte®, a leading provider of office products and organizational solutions under its premier Pendaflex® brand, is excited to announce the introduction of its innovative new Pendaflex® I.Organize™ information management system. I.Organize is a customizable project management solution providing superior functional advantages over 3-ring binders.

Melville, NY (PRWEB) December 7, 2009 -- The Pendaflex I.Organize is the professional choice for organization and management of your project and task documents (& materials). I.Organize is a customizable and active organization system that saves time and enhances productivity by allowing you to quickly access, categorize and securely store your most important project papers, whether you are in the office or on-the-go.

The information management system’s patent pending technology, developed specifically through observation research of mobile workers on the road, consists of a binder and easily interchangeable filing tools that combine together utilizing a unique locking mechanism which ensures that documents remain safe and secure.

This horrid example is pulled from the world of public relations. Like the news media, it is populated with both brilliant people and people who are not yet ready for prime time. The redundancy causing the furrowed brow here is bolded above. Combine together. As opposed to those other kinds of combining, the non-together kind. I can't think of any, but apparently Esselte knows of some.

In real life, the Department lives in the PR world. So I can't help but critique other aspects of this disaster. Note that above is only a portion of the release. More fun — and opportunities to test your own critiquing skills — is available via the link at the end of this post. Onward:

• Who on earth puts ® and ™ in headlines? 
• Why does somebody in a news release always have to be "excited" about something? (Bonus points to Esselte here, though, for having the entire corporation "excited" rather than the usual CEO.) 
• "NY" is a postal service abbreviation. Datelines use N.Y. 
• When referencing a specific date, abbreviate the month if it exceeds five letters, i.e., all but March through July. 
• An ampersand? Was typing out a-n-d too laborious? 
• If you need to use parentheses in your first sentence, what you really need is a new first sentence. 
• A challenge to us all: Write a news release without using "solution." You'll probably end up with a better, more believable release. 
• Am I not in the target market if I am merely on the go rather than "on-the-go"? 

Okay, that's eight gripes and I'm only through the first paragraph. Plus, I focused on basic nuts and bolts; whether the copy is readable, or even says anything, may be another matter. I'd better stop before I blow a gasket. I hereby deputize any and all readers of this blog (hi, Mom) to complete the mission.

Details: www.prweb.com