KATU-TV Portland: Get out!

The diesel spilled out. I suppose it would have been a bigger story if the diesel had spilled in. 

Also, the television station's slogan takes an ironic tinge in the context of the story. Neat.

https://katu.com/news/local/train-derails-near-madras-about-4000-gallons-of-diesel-spills-out

Devil, get thee behind behind me

Trump is trailing. Trump is behind. Trump is trailing behind. Is that clear?

Straight from the top

“We will get rid of the redundancy and duplication that wastes your time and your money.”

By:  

President Donald J. Trump

Official White House statement, Dec. 14, 2017. MAGA, indeed.

Slate: Ocean's One

What's the point of stealing casino chips?

An armed gunman stole $1.5 million in chips from the Bellagio casino in Las Vegas early Tuesday. What's the point of stealing casino chips? Do they have any value outside the casino?

Slate is an online magazine that has nurtured a reputation for being smart and explaining things that people either are or should be thinking about. They've provided here an extra bonus (see how I did that?) by revisiting one of redundancy's greatest hits, the nefarious armed gunman. After all, how effective could an unarmed gunman really be?

Details: www.slate.com

Wall Street Journal: China, Google and the Cloud Wars

What does Google know about you? What does the Chinese government know about you?

Now you know a less-spoken reason why Google has gone to the mattresses over Chinese hacking. Always in the cards, since the birth of the Web, was the possibility that some great Internet business—a Yahoo or Google or Amazon or Facebook—would be destroyed overnight by a cataclysmic loss of trust in its protection of consumer data.

We haven't seen this phenomenon yet, but it has seemed almost inevitable that sooner or later we will.

This all sounds really ominous. But so what? Gloom and doom will just have to wait while we nitpick. In this instance, the nit we are picking is "reason why." What does a reason do? It tells you why. So knowing "a less-spoken reason Google has gone to the mattresses" (mattresses?) serves our needs just fine.

You may now return to your previously scheduled gloom and doom.

Details: online.wsj.com

Tulsa Business Journal: Traveling by invisible bracelet goal

Noah Roberts wants to go everywhere that people travel and provide emergency personnel vital medical data should the need arise.

No, the Docvia president and chief executive officer doesn’t want to be physically present during the travels. That would mean dividing himself as many ways as the number of people who signed up for his service.

Rather, he wants an invisible bracelet that his firm developed to do the traveling. The bracelet would contain basic health information and up to 10 emergency contacts stored under a computer-assigned PIN number.

Maybe that means it's extra secure. After all, there's not merely a personal identification number between you and identity thieves. No sir, this will have a personal identification number number.

Details: www.tulsabusiness.com

Los Angeles Daily News: Rose Parade dress rehearsal

The first Rose Parades featured flower-covered horse-drawn carriages, and related events included polo matches and bronco-busting demonstrations, according to the Tournament of Roses Web site.

In more modern times, officials for the past 20 years or so have organized a separate equestrian event the week before the parade, said Asman. The location and format evolved over time, solidifying into Equestfest, which has been held for the past seven years, she added.

The Department is a big fan of properly executing the term Web site, so this citation for redundancy will contain less snarkiness than the usual post. Credit for good behavior, as it were.

The problem? Evolve means to undergo a process of change or development. Clearly, any process has a time element. So saying something has "evolved over time" is like saying it has "changed over time over time." It's safe to simply say evolved.

Details: http://www.dailynews.com

Business Week: Despite crisis, Cuba says GDP rose 1.4 pct in '09

Cuba used its unique brand of state accounting Sunday to claim 1.4 percent economic growth for the year, avoiding an official recession but failing to meet original forecasts...

When calculating growth, Cuba's government includes what it spends on free health care and education through college, as well as subsidies for housing, transportation and food rations. Critics say that exaggerates the economy's output.

The economy was hit hard by the recession this year, with productivity declining 1.1 percent, exports falling 22 percent, and officials slashing foreign imports 37 percent.

I'm pretty sure that if it's an import, it came from a foreign country. If Business Week were to discover a domestic import, that news would rock the financial world. But they won't, I'm certain, so they should just say "import" and be done. We'll all know what they mean.

Details: http://www.businessweek.com/

Pendaflex® Launches I.Organize™ Information Management System

Esselte®, a leading provider of office products and organizational solutions under its premier Pendaflex® brand, is excited to announce the introduction of its innovative new Pendaflex® I.Organize™ information management system. I.Organize is a customizable project management solution providing superior functional advantages over 3-ring binders.

Melville, NY (PRWEB) December 7, 2009 -- The Pendaflex I.Organize is the professional choice for organization and management of your project and task documents (& materials). I.Organize is a customizable and active organization system that saves time and enhances productivity by allowing you to quickly access, categorize and securely store your most important project papers, whether you are in the office or on-the-go.

The information management system’s patent pending technology, developed specifically through observation research of mobile workers on the road, consists of a binder and easily interchangeable filing tools that combine together utilizing a unique locking mechanism which ensures that documents remain safe and secure.

This horrid example is pulled from the world of public relations. Like the news media, it is populated with both brilliant people and people who are not yet ready for prime time. The redundancy causing the furrowed brow here is bolded above. Combine together. As opposed to those other kinds of combining, the non-together kind. I can't think of any, but apparently Esselte knows of some.

In real life, the Department lives in the PR world. So I can't help but critique other aspects of this disaster. Note that above is only a portion of the release. More fun — and opportunities to test your own critiquing skills — is available via the link at the end of this post. Onward:

• Who on earth puts ® and ™ in headlines? 
• Why does somebody in a news release always have to be "excited" about something? (Bonus points to Esselte here, though, for having the entire corporation "excited" rather than the usual CEO.) 
• "NY" is a postal service abbreviation. Datelines use N.Y. 
• When referencing a specific date, abbreviate the month if it exceeds five letters, i.e., all but March through July. 
• An ampersand? Was typing out a-n-d too laborious? 
• If you need to use parentheses in your first sentence, what you really need is a new first sentence. 
• A challenge to us all: Write a news release without using "solution." You'll probably end up with a better, more believable release. 
• Am I not in the target market if I am merely on the go rather than "on-the-go"? 

Okay, that's eight gripes and I'm only through the first paragraph. Plus, I focused on basic nuts and bolts; whether the copy is readable, or even says anything, may be another matter. I'd better stop before I blow a gasket. I hereby deputize any and all readers of this blog (hi, Mom) to complete the mission.

Details: www.prweb.com

New York Daily News (caption): "Kiki Vandeweghe, former GM of the Nuggets, uses his past experience in Denver to cope with Nets' tough season."

Perhaps the New York Daily News has some information about Kiki's time-traveling exploits that I'm not aware of. Otherwise, I don't see that it was necessary to specify that his experience with the Nuggets comes from the past rather than the future. 

Details: www.nydailynews.com

9&10 News Northern Michigan: Fire Destroys Isabella County Business and Home

A fire fueled by strong winds on Wednesday night completely destroyed the Rodnick Chiropractic Center near Clare in Isabella County.

Destroyed. I think that pretty much says it all. Sort of like dead. There really aren't degrees of dead. So telling me something is "completely" destroyed doesn't do much to aid my understanding. "Destroyed" paints the picture just fine. Well, that and the mountain of orange flames in the picture posted with the story.
 
Details: www.9and10news.com

TIME/The Detroit Blog: Detroit on the Brain

...new movie starring George Clooney. The cast and crew shot scenes in late February at Detroit Metropolitan Airport. According to the article, "There were three days of actual filming inside the McNamara Terminal (which has a starring role in the movie's poster) and the closed Berry Terminal, according to Scott Wintner, a spokesman for the Wayne County Airport Authority.

But that brief time frame involved months of advance planning and frequent visits to metro Detroit by the film's crew. "A three-day shoot means an economic impact that is much larger than just three days," says Wintner.

Wise move on the part of that crew, and a lesson for us all: Do your planning in advance. It really is the best time.

Details: detroit.blogs.time.com

WFAA-TV Dallas/Fort Worth: Stolen cash machine found in back of charred van in Pleasant Grove

DALLAS — Police didn't know what to expect when they they were summoned Friday morning to investigate a burning van in Pleasant Grove.

The charred, older-model van was in an alley between Cradlerock Drive and Oak Gate Lane.

In the back of the vehicle, they found an ATM machine that had apparently been stolen. Its origin was not immediately clear; nor were police saying whether the perpetrators had managed to remove any cash before it was abandoned.

That's right, they found an ATM machine. An ATM (Automated Teller Machine) machine. On TGIF Friday, presumably.

Details: www.wfaa.com

NBC Augusta 26: Beauty salon robbed twice in one day

AUGUSTA, Ga. - Richmond County investigators are looking for the armed gunman who hit up a beauty supply store.

Yes, it's apparently true, the gunman was armed.

Adding insult to injury, the shop had been robbed "earlier in the same day."

Details: www.nbcaugusta.com

A message from our patron saint, George Carlin

My fellow countrymen, I speak to you as coequals, knowing you are deserving of the honest truth. And let me warn you in advance, my subject matter con­cerns a serious crisis caused by an event in my past history: the execution-style killing of a security guard on a delivery truck. At that particular point in time, I found myself in a deep depression, making mental errors which seemed as though they might threaten my future plans. I am not over-exaggerating.

I needed a new beginning, so I decided to pay a social visit to a personal friend with whom I share the same mutual objectives and who is one of the most unique individuals I have ever personally met. The end result was an un­expected surprise. When I reiterated again to her the fact that I needed a fresh start, she said I was exactly right; and, as an added plus, she came up with a fi­nal solution that was absolutely perfect.

Based on her past experience, she felt we needed to join together in a com­mon bond for a combined total of twenty-four hours a day, in order to find some new initiatives. What a novel innovation! And, as an extra bonus, she presented me with the free gift of a tuna fish. Right away I noticed an immedi­ate positive improvement. And although my recovery is not totally complete, the sum total is I feel much better now knowing I am not uniquely alone.

(When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? <http://www.booksamillion.com/ncom/books?id=3881874104007&isbn=140130821X> Hyperion, 2004)